


Taste the Feeling

by YeolsTruly



Series: NCT Shenanigans [11]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Basically Jaehyun Narrating his Escapades with Yuta, Diary/Journal, Eventual Romance, I'm Bad At Titles, Jaehyun is Panicked Gay, Jealousy, M/M, Nakamoto Yuta is Whipped, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Side Marknny, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:29:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26751382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YeolsTruly/pseuds/YeolsTruly
Summary: A collection of Jaehyun's diary entries which contains all of his experiences as he fools around with his snarky colleague named Nakamoto Yuta.Or in which Jaehyun doesn't have someone to talk with his problems so he decides to write a diary for himself.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Nakamoto Yuta
Series: NCT Shenanigans [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678876
Comments: 10
Kudos: 76





	1. Entry #1 (July 6, 2020)

**Author's Note:**

> The entire fic is written in Jaehyun's POV.
> 
> I'm warning you, this is purely my ramblings. Asdjalgkajgla Blame my terrible insomnia >_<
> 
> Warning! Not proofread!

**July 6, 2020 (Monday)**

I can’t believe I’m going to do this.

Wait a minute. How do I even start this thing?

Let’s see. Dear diary… Nope. That sounds so lame and very quintessential. For fuck’s sake, how do people start with this?

Not to mention, I’m a grown-ass man. Who would even think that I guy like me would do something like this?!

Whatever. This is my first time doing this piece of crap so bear with me, myself.

First of all, I decided to do this whole shenanigan just because I don’t have anyone to talk with about my stuff. I may be talking to myself but at least I have a way to vent out my frustrations.

Okay, I’ll start now, and this time, I’m freakin’ serious.

I admit I’m the jealous type.

Now define being jealous. If you ask me, I’ll probably answer something that makes no sense. Oh well… Might as well talk about it.

Let’s just say I don’t like getting tormented by the things that I’ll never achieve, especially to those things that aren’t _really_ mine, or I can’t _really_ have.

Alright. After five seconds of pondering about this, I’ll stop masking my words. For god’s sake, this is my own entry! I’m not the type of person who likes to beat around the bush.

The _thing_ that I’m talking about two paragraphs ago isn’t really a thing--- It’s a freaking _person_. Got it?

They say there’s a fine line between two people who just agreed to some kind of deal, specifically when there’s a contract involved. Believe me, I know those kinds of shit since I work under the finance department of a well-known company.

The thing is, there _isn’t_ any written agreement that was presented--- Not even a piece of evidence!

Funnily enough, I am deeply suffering from the vicissitudes of this fucked up situation, yet at the same time, the pleasure is just _unfathomable_.

Or mind-blowing. Or ridiculously amazing. Or breathtaking or whatever you want to call it. The point is, it’s _that_ good.

Am I making any sense with my poor choice of words? Oh well, I’m just talking to myself so who cares? I can do what I want.

As a matter of fact, there are literally _hundreds_ or even thousands of ways how to experience pleasure. Narrow it down into the most common ones and I think you already get what I mean.

That’s right, Jung Yoonoh. You and your perverted mind.

Anyway, it all started when I met this annoying colleague of mine named Nakamoto Yuta. The said brat is from freaking Japan and the type of person who I particularly don’t like judging the way he presented himself in our department the first time he was introduced. If I am not mistaken, that was only three months ago. I may be inaccurate but I’m too lazy to do the math right now.

Back on track, let’s just say he’s this kind of stereotypical and infuriatingly charismatic guy that always gets on your nerves to the point that every movement he’ll do will also affect your entire mood. What more frustrating is that I don’t even know the reason why I’m getting paranoid just by seeing his existence.

He’s a freaking social butterfly and a complete opposite of my personality. Don’t get me wrong, I get along with my coworkers but that’s just it. They aren’t my friends outside work--- Well some of them are my friends but the point is, Nakamoto Yuta is the kind of person who’s everybody’s best friend excluding me.

I prefer to separate my personal life from my professional life. I’m sure I’m not the only person who does that.

In just two months, everyone already loved him and sadly, this includes our boss. Not that I mind though, as long as he doesn’t dare to bother my business…

Except that he _actually_ did it.

At first, I just presumed that he was messing around with me, or he wanted to press my buttons deeper. Turns out, the brat wanted something more from me.

Truth to be told, it’s his goddamn ass that started all of this.

Okay… So here’s what happened. Two weeks ago, our boss was nice enough to treat us drinks so almost everyone joined the celebration. After all, who wouldn’t like free drinks? It was Friday during that time so I didn’t mind intoxicating myself since I was also stressed out with everything.

At first, I was silently enjoying my drink, cowered in one corner as I bobbed my head while listening to the loud music blaring all over the bar. I purposefully ditched my coworkers so I could mingle with other people and hunt for a potential one-night stand.

Only that luck wasn’t on my side. I tried to flirt on every woman I came across with but my charms weren’t working on that day. I had no idea why because usually it would only take me a few winks and innuendos before my target will give in and beg for my touches.

Hey. I don’t want to brag but I’m very famous on our floor thanks to my hard-earned looks and I already slept with almost all of the single ladies from the other departments.

Now don’t give me that judgmental look. Those ladies willingly spread their legs for me and I was just nice enough to return the favor. No worries though. I don’t commit because fuck romance. That concept does not exist in my vocabulary.

Anyway, I was busy drowning in self-loathe when Mr. Smarty Pants just appeared right beside me, wearing a stupefying grin on his face.

 _‘Hey, why are you alone here? How nice of you to ditch our colleagues.’_ He told me which immediately made me irritated.

I tried to ignore him but he never left my fucking side as if he was a goddamn moth and I was this big firepit that he adored. I didn’t have any choice but to accept his company and together, we talked throughout the night while continuously quaffing our respective drinks.

It turned out he was actually nice to talk with, or maybe I’m just bored and decided to tolerate his constant blabberings. The next thing I remembered was that he was already sitting on my lap, wearing this languid and almost breathtaking expression on his face.

Now you might be thinking, how the heck did I remember his face despite drinking six or seven glasses of Vodka? The answer is simple--- I have high alcohol tolerance and I was still widely awake during the ordeal.

Yuta won’t stop rambling how hot I was with the fitted long sleeves I was wearing and he shamelessly declared that he wanted to kiss me. His statement completely caught me off guard because number one, we’re literally right in front of the crowd, and two, how could he easily say those words when in fact that he knew that I hate him?!

I could still remember his exact words, _‘I’ve been crushing on you since the first time I saw you. Jaehyun-ah~~~ Would you want to play with me?’_ He brushed his fingers against my parted lips before adding _, ‘Don’t worry, I’ll follow your lead.’_

Saying that I’m flabbergasted during that very moment is an understatement--- My feet became numb as soon as I heard his words and the next thing I knew, he was already kissing me hard, his lips oddly tasted sweet and enticing.

Things started getting strange because I didn’t shove his body away. Instead, I found myself returning the kiss, and right there across the bar where we were located, we heavily made-out to the point that both of our lips became red and swollen.

Did I like the kiss? _Yes_. Had I ever kissed another guy before? A big _no_.

Maybe it was the alcohol’s fault for making me commit the unthinkable but then I remembered that I was still conscious. Yuta was grinning from ear to ear when our mouths parted, his eyes twinkling in contentment and I couldn’t help but feel… I dunno, proud?

His ass--- His _fucking_ ass was grounding against my groin and I didn’t feel the slightest disgust about it, and instead, I urged him to continue riding me to the point that my cock was already painfully throbbing against the trousers I was wearing. He was more than willing to comply and for the next couple of minutes or so, we started kissing again.

I know. Things escalated too fast.

We went to the center of the dance floor and danced amidst the sea of crowd. It was just a pathetic excuse for us to continue our dry humping, this time my front was pressed against the crack of his ass as I continued to leave hot kisses along his milky neck.

I was sexually frustrated and the fact that my nemesis was under my spell was making me aroused. Yuta never complained when I bit his ear, or when I left a huge love bite on his milky clavicle. Instead, he begged me to leave more marks, and who was I not to grant his wish?

I couldn’t be prouder for leaving numerous hickeys on his skin that will probably last for a couple of days or so, thinking that I will humiliate him.

The next series of events became blurry but I remembered dropping him to his home. Yuta winked at me and told me that he’ll be looking forward to whatever we’ll do next.

That was the last time I had a proper conversation with him. For the past two weeks, I’ve been ignoring him since I was too embarrassed about everything--- I just _kissed_ another man and I’m pretty sure every single straight guy out there will be just as bewildered as I.

Moreover, I just discovered that he’s gay, and on top of that, he likes me.

It’s just… Awkward.

I dunno what to say. It’s affecting our work and our colleagues were starting to notice the tension between us.

Fours days ago, Yuta apologized to me. I didn’t say a word. I was too afraid to confront him. I didn’t know that it was a fatal mistake because the next day, I discovered that he was already flirting with Johnny Suh, one of the guys working in the Accounting Department.

At first, I didn’t know what to feel about it, but when I saw them acting lovey-dovey in front of our coworkers, my blood suddenly boiled. Johnny’s hands were all over his body and Yuta seemed to like it.

How dare him!

Here’s a question I would like to ask myself--- What will I do? Should I try and reconcile with him? And even if we fix our misunderstanding, what will happen next?

Wait… There’s nothing to reconcile. We’re not even friends, plus we only knew each other for three months.

I liked the kiss we shared, but I’m not into guys.

But dammit… I can’t stop thinking about that day. I just don’t know why I felt betrayed.

Whatever. I’ll just go with the flow.

I can’t believe my first ever entry in this diary is this long.

I’m too tired to write now. I’m going to sleep now.

  * **_Jaehyun_**



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did I just write? :3


	2. Entry #2 (July 10, 2020)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm starting to enjoy writing this fic >_< Maybe because it's a bit lighter than most of my fics? Either way, doing this kind of writing style is still new to me so bare with me! T_T

**July 10, 2020 (Friday)**

Have I ever mentioned before that I’m smoking hot?

I also firmly believe that I’m very attractive… Not until I started doubting myself, which by the way, happened _literally_ just a few hours ago.

It’s funny how insecurities could strip down your confidence in just a blink of an eye.

I rarely let myself drown in any kind of misery, but when I do, it’s not pretty.

I’m not the emotional type so the way I’m freaking out right now is completely understandable.

Last Monday, I talked about Nakamoto Yuta and all of those trepidations I went through with him, ranging from our endless banterings up to the whole incident that happened in the club a few weeks ago.

Looks like I’m going to blabber about him again.

I can’t help it. Like what I’ve said before, Yuta has been hanging around with Johnny Suh. It irks me every time I see them talking by the hallway, or how the corners of Yuta’s mouth would light up when Johnny cracks a joke or two.

They were honestly… Annoying. I mean, it’s inappropriate to flirt during work hours but Johnny kept on visiting and giving him random gifts. They would sometimes blow kisses and what’s worse was that my other colleagues were tolerating their behavior.

Wait. I’m not even sure if they were really flirting with each other or not.

What if they were already fucking around?

Goodness… I look pathetic right now as I sulk. Seriously. It isn’t funny anymore.

I know I don’t have the right to feel jealous. For god’s sake, we just made-out but here I am, acting like a paranoid boyfriend waiting for his lover to give some sort of explanation!

Kissing another person was never been a bother for me before but his case is different.

Other than the fact that he’s a man, the way we kissed weeks ago is still tattooed in my mind and won’t stop tormenting me.

The memories are still vivid, and from time to time I would find myself daydreaming. Sometimes I would stare at him until I drool, imagining that somehow, his lips were back on mine and I was pushing his back against his work desk, my hands tightly gripping his squishy ass as we rub our front together---

See! Look what I’ve done. I’m embarrassing myself again with my pointless ramblings!

My shameful confessions don’t end here, though. When I woke up this morning, I had a boner.

Why? Because I had a wet dream.

You may be thinking, ‘ _Morning wood is pretty normal especially when you're a guy!’_ Well, it’s true, but you wouldn’t believe what’s the cause of my arousal.

Shit… I don’t know whether I’ll write it in here or not, it’s too humiliating!

Aish. Why am I hesitating again? As if someone will see this.

Fine. I’ll confess! Are you happy now, my other self?

How will I put this in words… Let’s just say I’m _fucking_ him on my dream, and when I say the word fucking, I mean as in we were having _sex_.

We were both naked and he was there beneath me while batting his long eyelashes.

He won’t stop moaning and writing, his legs wrapped around my waist. We shared a lot of kisses as I continue to ram deeper inside him, and before I could even burst out, my alarm was already blaring out loud.

I immediately got into a cold shower as soon as I woke up, although I won’t deny that while I’m scrubbing myself clean, his image wouldn’t stop appearing from my mind.

In the end, I was forced to release my frustrations. I pathetically came while shamelessly chanting and moaning his name.

It creeped me out, not because I was fucking him in my dreams but because I _didn’t_ feel disgusted about it.

Instead, I felt really turned on, and can’t even look at him in the eye throughout the rest of the day. It was stupid because I let him hang around again with Johnny Suh.

That prick… One of these days I’ll make sure I’ll steal Yuta away from him. Who was he to be like that, acting all mighty and invading our department as if he owns the company?! Stupid Johnny Suh and his perfectly toned body!

Back on track, it was the first time I had a wet dream because of a man. Was that even normal?! Not to mention, I was… I was pounding inside his… Errr, ass.

I never did anal before. I just prefer doing a quickie with my one night stands.

I’m straight. Yeah. I’m straight as a pole. Wanting to get into Yuta’s pants doesn’t equate me to being gay, right?!

I never even considered Yuta beautiful until now. There’s just something that’s very tantalizing from him. I dunno… Maybe his ass? Gaaaaaaaaaah!

Did I just admit that he’s freaking beautiful?! For fuck’s sake, he’s not even a girl!

Anyway, I just hope that he stops fooling around with Johnny Suh. This might sound crazy but I badly miss his attention. Gone were those days we were bantering non-stop and I couldn’t help but feel desolate about it.

I wanna see the big smirk on his face once more. I want to be the cause of his smiles, and I want to taste his lips, not just one, but a lot more times until he won’t kiss anyone but me.

He should be pampering me with his affection since he likes me.

That’s right… I’ll make him remember that.

Nakamoto Yuta, know your place. Your ass--- I-I mean your attention belongs to no one but me. Yep. That sounds good.

I, Jung Yoonoh A.K.A Jaehyun is demanding you to reconcile with me! Does that sound good? Or maybe I’ll try to be sound friendlier?

Whatever. My eyelids are starting to drop again.

I just hope that I won’t be having another wet dream again.

Well maybe not… I take back my words. It’s not counted a sin if he doesn’t find out that I’m jerking off while imagining him, right?

Diary, don’t betray me now, okay?!

  * _**Jaehyun**_



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Confused Jaehyun continues to prevail :3


	3. Entry #3 (July 13, 2020)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a notice, this fic belongs to the same AU in my other fic called [Highway to Heaven](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23801170) If you already saw that, then you already have an idea about Johnny and Mark's relationship. It's not required to read that fic but I just want to inform everyone that they are somehow interrelated.

**July 13, 2020 (Monday)**

Look who just chickened out.

I can't believe I just. Fucking. Left. Without. Doing. Anything.

Anyway, there were two things that I discovered today. One is that Johnny Suh isn't part of the Accounting Department, but rather he is a Product Marketing Manager from the Marketing Department. Mark told me about it because apparently, he and Johnny are on the same team. I can't believe that what I was believing was nothing but a pure bluff!

Then why am I always seeing him on the same floor as ours? That's right... Because he is fooling around with Nakamoto Yuta, dammit!

Speaking of the Japanese prince, our department just recently finished its monthly meeting and it so happened that Yuta and I were assigned to do the honor of presenting in front of everyone. Of course, I kept my professionalism throughout the conference meeting but I couldn't help but steal glances at Yuta. I didn't know if I was hallucinating but... For the first time since his arrival in our department, he was glowing in my eyes as he presented his part.

Three months ago, I abhor seeing his silver hair and blinding smiles. I can't believe that making-out with him will change my overall impression of him because now, I have to hold back just to keep my arms from reaching out and grabbing his face.

As usual, he was wearing a tight long sleeves that hugged his physique. Of course he wouldn't be Yuta if there's no lipgloss applied on his plump lips.

However, he was acting the same, and the moment the meeting was finished, he left without uttering a single word to me.

You see... I already decided that I'm going to apologize for acting like an asshole and ignoring him for the past few weeks but I couldn't even move my fucking legs when he egressed. It was too late when I managed to go outside because he was already with none other than Johnny Suh, and both males seemed to be having the time of their lives.

I was deeply riled because Nakamoto was showing his gummy smile to Johnny. For fuck's sake... He only shows that big stupefying grin of his to me!

If you think that's the worst thing that has ever happened to me this day, then you'll re wrong.

Johnny saw me gawking and fuming a few meters behind them so he gave me an arrogant smirk before he dragged Yuta towards the parking area.

The nerve of that prick!

Unfortunately, Yuta didn't see me, and the moment I reached the parking lot, Johnny's black Mercedes-Benz was already speeding out and blowing smoke all over my face. I didn't see the inside of the car because the windows were tinted but I was a hundred percent sure that he was with Yuta.

Damn it!

Soon after, Mark appeared and asked me what's wrong because I was busy sulking and stomping the asphalt like a goddamn child. I told him nothing but then he rambled again about Johnny because they were supposed to be hanging out after their shift. Little did he know, his friend already ditched his ass.

He kept on spurting nonsensical words about the American but I chose to leave him behind. I already had enough of Johnny Suh. That's it. From now on, he's my rival!

My mood just turned three-sixty. All those scripts I planned and memorized so hard just to have a proper apology became useless in just a blink of an eye.

Truth to be told, I just want to know whether there's something in between them or not. Knowing that fact alone will lift off the heavy weight on my shoulders.

I sound pathetic, right?

I can't believe that a guy made me lose my mind.

Hey, don't get me wrong. It's not that I'm in love with Mr. Shortie. I just want to talk with him again and 'rekindle' our relationship.

And maybe he'll spoil me again with his affection. I wouldn't mind that.

Heck, what if we kiss again?

That sounds _good_.

Again, no homo. I just want to taste his mouth again. In the first place, it's his fault for having soft and luscious lips so my addiction is completely understandable, right?

Then... Maybe he'll let me feel his ass, and my wet dreams will become true.

I don't know if having sex with him will satisfy my frustrations but there's nothing wrong with spicing up things, right?

Besides, I'm curious. He likes me but I don't want to monopolize his feelings. Rather, I want to give him a chance. If somehow a miracle happens and we'll work out, then that would be awesome.

I'm such a hypocrite. I just mentioned two entries before that I'm noncommital, but here I am right now, desperately longing to bed my nemesis not just once, but probably a lot more times until he won't be flirting with other guys anymore.

Yeah. Now that's what you call a decent plan. Nice work, Yoonoh. You really are the best!

I feel so perverted again. I can't believe I'm getting a boner while writing this entry.

Oh well... I hope my charms will work on him. I mean, he already admitted that he fancied me and I highly doubt that he already moved on so... If the latter happens, then all I have to do is to make him realize that giving up on me is a huge mistake. Easy peasy.

I always get what I want, and this time, Yuta Nakamoto is _not_ an exemption.

  * _**Jaehyun**_



_**P.S - I hope I won't be having wet dreams again or else my sanity will evaporate. Coming while imagining his face is already embarrassing. I just hope that he'll never discover that I'm fantasizing about him.** _

_**Again, no homo! Also, I did my research. There's a term called MSM which is entirely different from sexual orientation. I dunno if I'm making sense but you get my point, right?** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MSM means Men who have sex with men.


	4. Entry #4 (July 15, 2020)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ei. School just started yesterday so my updates will be inconsistent from now on. Don't worry! I have no plans in abandoning this fic ^_^

**July 15, 2020 (Wednesday)**

I am lost for words.

I think I just got traumatized.

... Or was it really the case?

Today, I witnessed something risqué... _Unfathomable,_ to be exact.

See. My vocabulary bank is surfacing out of nowhere. This only means that I'm very _serious_ right now.

Where do I start? Let's see...

I went to the fifteenth floor because I fixed some matters in the Human Resources Department. I plan on taking a vacation next week for at least three days to give myself a break. I'm getting frustrated with _everything---_ I just need to have a breather and refresh my mind. Partly because lately, my work has been really a pain in the ass while the other reason is... Well, you already know about it.

Things between me and Yuta are still stagnant as ever but more on to that later.

As I was saying a while ago, I saw something mind-blowing that will probably remain inside my head for a long time.

Heck. Probably _forever,_ and I'm not even exaggerating.

After finishing my appointment, I used the staircase since the elevator was still undergoing minor maintenance (coincidence? I think not.) so I had no choice but to waste a couple of minutes just to reach back to our department. There are comfort rooms every floor just beside the staircase, and the one on the twelfth floor is usually deserted since the said area is still under renovation.

There's nothing left on the twelfth floor but scattered newspapers, old office cabinets, neglected stacks of reports, tattered equipment, window and flooring materials, and any other things you would usually see in a renovation site. The ceilings are already dilapidated and full of holes but the windows are still intact since they are made of glass and when you look through it, you'll see the view of the busy downtown just below.

The lights are barely flashing, and to be honest, most of the employees are evading the abandoned floor because a lot of spooky stories are popping out and spreading throughout the entire corporation like wildfire. I myself don't believe in such absurdities because who would even believe that ghosts exist?

Sure, blame the dead when in fact, people who are still alive are more frightening because you'll never know when you'll encounter lawbreakers out there.

The world is a vast, creepy place. So do our corporation.

Instead of experiencing or witnessing some sort of supernatural disturbance, I accidentally discovered something.

Talk about bad luck.

Mind you, it's the total opposite of it, and no one will ever think that such... _Queer_ things were happening there.

As cliché it may sound, my bladder was already overflowing so I had no choice but to take a bathroom break there. I quickly finished my business, and as soon as I egressed the comfort room, I heard a loud thud coming from the abandoned floor as if a huge object had fallen from a higher elevation.

At first, I thought I was just hearing things but the thuds became a bit louder so I took a step back and attempted to descend because my heart was already beating fast.

My mind was like, _'What if that's the ghost?!'_ Yeah. Very unmanly, right?

And then I heard a _groan_ which ultimately petrified me and sent shivers all over my body.

Yep. That's right. As in g-r-o-a-n, the one you always do when you're irritated or vexed or annoyed or... Or... Or...

When you're aroused.

I was certain that I was alone there, and I tried to shake my head in attempt to calm down my nerves but the groans continued to reverberate around the area, and this time the sounds were getting louder.

The next thing I knew, I was already infiltrating deeper inside the renovation site. There's a lot of dust fluttering in the air so I pinched my nose (bad case of allergy from dust particles. Rhinitis is such a pain) as I continued to shamble amidst the mess scattered all over the floor. The groaning sounds prevailed, and when I was halfway inside the spacious room, I heard _another_ sound.

At first, I couldn't identify where those sounds were coming from, but as soon as I reached the end of the hallway, I saw a shadow of a person looming inside one of the rooms by the fire exit. The shadow was oddly shaking and bouncing against the opposite wall as if its owner was doing something... I dunno, maybe vigorous? Or maybe they were frantic and panicking. Either way, I was totally _wrong._

Things became disturbing when I crept closer. As soon as I was just a few feet away from the entrance of the room, my throat became dry because I finally realized what I was hearing.

There's someone _grunting_ and _mewling,_ followed by the sounds of skins _slapping_ together. Yes, you read it just right, that's definitely what my ears heard.

I covered my mouth in utter horror--- I just couldn't believe what I was hearing.

I almost stumbled on the ground when I heard the person inside talking, or rather _growling_ in a guttural voice, _'Sweetheart, you wouldn't want someone to hear us, right?'_

Even though they sounded a bit restricted and distraught, I immediately _recognized_ the voice. Instinctively, I was about to run away when _someone_ actually replied. Take note, Someone _really_ replied and I almost peed on my pants!

 _'H-Hyung... N-No o-o-one'ssss h-here--- Ah!'_ A squeaky voice replied before a loud airy moan echoed around the stall, followed by a series of squelching and slapping sounds ricocheting against the walls, _'You really like getting manhandled, hmmm? Fine. Your wish is my command.'_

_'A-Ah!'_

_'F-Fuck... Y-You're so tight, b-baby!'_

_“T-There… Ugh.. Y-Yes! Youngho-hyung I-I--- A-AH!”_

_'Who's your favorite hyung, huh? T-Tell me, princess.'_

_'Y-You--- Mhggh... Y-You Y-Youngho h-h-hyu-n-ng-- H-Hmgh!'_

_'Y-You're my f-favorite too, M-Minhyungie--- Shit!'_

At that point, I had already forgotten about my afternoon schedule because my feet were already walking towards the door.

As soon as I peeked inside the room, I saw a horrifying scene I never thought I'll be witnessing in my entire life.

There cowered in one corner of the empty room were no other than Johnny _fucking_ Suh and Mark Lee.

Mark Lee. My _sweet_ oh Mark who is undoubtedly one of my few friends outside my department. That guy is a ball of sunshine and everyone loves him because he is so freaking talented and generous.

I-I never imagined that he is spreading his legs for another man, and out of all man out there, it was Johnny Suh.

The former was bent over while faceplanting against the glass mirror. He was stripped-down naked except the enormous white shirt he was wearing and his mouth won't stop from spewing lewd moans and ear-piercing sobs of pleasure.

On the other hand, Johnny was...

Johnny was...

Johnny was... Err.

Johnny was b-banging the smaller man from behind and he was completely naked and covered with sweat. Both of their clothes were scattered all over the floor as they fucked, and strangely enough, they seemed to be enjoying the nice view in front of them.

Fuck. My eyes got traumatized.

It was a glass window which is technically the wall too. Not to mention, there's a lot of skyscrapers around our company...

Goodness gracious. I don't want to explain the explicit details anymore.

Until now, Mark's obscene expression is still haunting and _plaguing_ my mind. I just couldn't fathom to think that he has that kind of relationship with that prick. Now I know why he won't stop talking about Johnny. The guy is completely smitten, and his eyes won't stop from sparkling and dilating in delight every time he talks about the American.

I thought it was just admiration but it turned out it was something more as if he was already in love with him.

Mark Lee, why?!! I never knew that you're into guys! I'm your friend yet you never told me about it!

Call me childish or unreasonable but the thing is, I'm _genuinely_ hurt. I thought Mark trusted me but he was still hiding something from me.

D-Don't get me wrong! I'm not against Mark being gay, or maybe bisexual or something like that but... I just can't believe it.

I guess I don't know him that well yet. Oh well, everyone has their own share of secrets, and that includes _me_ _._

 _*coughs*_ Insert my never-ending wet dreams courtesy of a certain Japanese man _*coughs*_

Speaking of Johnny Suh, that motherfucker is screwing up with my best friend while flirting with my Yuta. Just how much of a nincompoop he is?!

What a cheap bastard. I seriously hate him now.

No. I _detest_ him.

Despite the unconventional circumstance I just went through, there's a silver lining. Now I know that Johnny doesn't deserve Yuta's attention and all I have to do is to expose him and everything will be okay, right?!

But wait... How about Mark?

I just can't hurt his feelings. He's very important to me and I'm sure he'll get dumbfounded once he realizes that I already knew his secret.

I _don't_ want to jeopardize our friendship.

Shit. This is harder than I thought. Fine. I won't be reckless and impulsive. I'm not that stupid to throw everything away.

If I can't do this in the simplest way, then I'm afraid I'll have to pull an elephant through a needle just to earn back my man.

Err... Did I just mention that Yuta Nakamoto is my _man?!_

Now I'm getting weird.

Oh well. I just hope that after my vacation, I'll be able to overcome this stupid quandary.

So that's how two guys... Do that. I'm curious about the other positions though.

Fuck, fuck, fuck! I just imagined Yuta in that kind of position!

  
Gaaaaah!

  * _**Jaehyun**_



**_P.S - Thanks to my undying curiosity, I might research more about... That._ **


	5. Entry #5 (July 16, 2020)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda rushed because I'm not going to lie about it--- My mental health is crumbling plus online classes are shit. Anyway, here's another Jaehyun's entry!

**July 16, 2020 (Thursday)**

Today I attempted to confront Mark but guess what? I didn't have the guts to do it.

How can I even do it? Dude, I don't even want to hurt his feelings. Asking such a crucial thing isn't my cup of tea.

Okay, maybe I'm lying. I'm a bit straightforward (if you consider my attitude when it comes to flirting) but Mark is a different animal.

Wait... Errr, wrong metaphor (what am I thinking, comparing my best friend to an animal just because I saw him behaving like that). The point is, he's my dear friend. What do you expect me to do, barge into his department, and ridicule him in front of his colleagues?

Saying _'Hey, Mark I know you're into guys and I saw you fucking around with Johnny Suh but I just want to clarify that I'm cool with that.'_ seems too rude and absurd so I ain't going to trust myself because I can't filter my words once I start talking.

Moreover, talking to him in private seemed a bad idea because the tension will just gobble me up.

Fuck. I really don't know what to do.

And then what, hurt his feelings and destroy our friendship? Even if he discovers that his favorite buddy is flirting around with another man, what good it will do?

Notice how disarrayed my words are. It's like looking through my rambunctious mind, but ten times worse. I can't believe that these things are stressing me out.

What happened to the untamed horse within me? I thought I'm the type of person who doesn't care about what will the other people think and will most likely go with the flow but the sudden turn of events is making me doubt myself.

Anyway, I'm guessing I'll just list out the things I like about Mark since he's my best friend. In other words, let's find another way to increase the burden of me confronting him. Let's see...

> 1.) Mark is my best friend for five years. I guess we complemented each other because we both speak English.
> 
> 2\. ) He's a loner when he first arrived in the company. Fortunately, he took the challenge and started to break out from his shell. Here he is right now, the most lovable man in the corporation. I'm not joking--- Even the higher-ups adore him.
> 
> 3.) Mark is very passionate on almost anything he does. This just proves how hardworking he is. This may sound cheesy but he deserves the recognitions he is receiving since the start of his career. Migrating to an entirely different country is very big and I'm very proud of him.
> 
> 4.) We have the same taste in music. Mark loves to rap and sometimes we hang out so I can listen to his compositions.
> 
> 5.) He's always eager to learn more about our field. He's not afraid to commit mistakes which is very endearing about him.
> 
> 6.) He's the type of guy who'll never judge someone else based on what he sees or what he hears from the others.
> 
> 7.) When he swears loyalty, he'll never break it. That's just how trustworthy he is.
> 
> 8.) Finally, Mark is Mark. He's his own thing, and no one will never replace him.

Now tell me a good reason to break his heart.

Nothing, right?!

I can't help but feel frustrated and angry at the same time. How can he fool around with Johnny?! I mean... If he's going to have an interesting relationship with someone else, he should at least examine the guy or the girl he'll be choosing... I'm surprised by his taste. Heck, the word surprise is even an understatement.

I want to warn him but how could I even do that? Besides, I have Yuta to deal with so this is just so bothersome. I mean, the circumstance is the one I'm talking about and not Mark, okay?

How can I tell Yuta that Johnny Suh is a wuss without revealing Markie's secret? I'm no nerd but I need to think twice about this.

Speaking of Yuta, his situation is also the same. The same pattern repeated except that I managed to say goodbye to him right after our shift. Sounds pathetic, right?

I hate it when he gives me a cold shoulder. It's a tough pill to swallow but I had the taste of my own medicine.

Alright, Yuta's _hot,_ can I now rest in peace?! It's not weird for a straight guy like me to compliment another man, right?!

Right?!

Okay, I'm being dramatic again. Hopefully, tomorrow will be another chance for me to muster all of my courage.

It's not that I'm afraid to talk to Yuta--- Well maybe I am... God, I hate this!

Fuuuuuuck!

  * _**Jaehyun**_



**_P.S - Maybe I'll try to confront Mark first. Wish me good luck, though._ **


	6. Entry #6 (July 17, 2020)

**July 17, 2020 (Friday)**

This is long.

You've been warned.

This depends on how the word _long_ means in your vocabulary blah, blah, blah... Shit, I'm rambling again!

I know this is stupid but relax, Jung Jaehyun. Everything's going to be alright!

Okay. I'm calm now.

Say hello to T.G.I.F although the earlier parts of this day were a bit challenging for me. Not that I mind, especially that I got the greatest reward I never thought I'll be having.

Let's just say that this day has been a total surprise for me. I never expected the sudden change of events judging how alarming the situation I got myself in.

Anyway, enough of the pointless blattering, for I'm about to narrate another interesting story. This is not just a normal story, but a rather steamy one ;)

And yes, there's no anticlimatic moments here or whatsoever. Spoiler alert, the plot for this day had progressed the way I wanted to be.

During the lunch break, I finally had the balls to talk with my best friend. Luckily, Mark was alone and for the first time around, he was not with Johnny Suh so I managed to convince him to have lunch with me.

I was hands down nervous, especially that I was bearing a hidden motive. As usual, Mark was talkative and kept on telling me about how perfect the weather was for clubbing and he was madly blushing and kept on fiddling with the hem of his shirt when he told me that he's planning to hang out with Johnny. _Again._

The way his face lit up in pure ecstasy was preventing me to spill the beans. I couldn't fathom to ruin his feelings, much more break his small heart. However, I knew that I must do the inevitable if I wanted to finish this dilemma. Yuta was making my mind run amok and It's only a matter of time before I might do something stupid.

 _'Mark, I know you're fooling around with Johnny Suh.'_ Was the sentence that came out of my mouth. It was pretty much straightforward, and my heart stopped beating the moment I saw the utter shock written on Markie's face.

What the actual fuck.

We became silent as deadlock, and all of a sudden, we engaged in an awkward staring competition as we got enveloped by the noise coming from the pantry area.

See?! That's why I don't trust my own words when it comes to these things. It made me feel uncomfortable and I was literally screaming inside, praying for the floor to consume me and eat me alive.

Mark broke the defeating silence. He nervously blinked, his food already neglected as he incredulously gawked, _'H-How...?'_

So I told him the very unfortunate and traumatizing (although I didn't mention the word traumatizing, that would be dramatic sheesh...) thing I witnessed on the infamous Fifteenth Floor. Mark's expression turned from scared, agonizing to mortifying as I continued to reveal what I saw while struggling to keep my narration simple.

He couldn't even look straight into my face. Instead of feeling ashamed for his sake, my heart _broke_ into a million pieces instead.

I could never judge him. After all, he's my _precious_ friend.

Wordlessly, he attempted to run away but I was fast enough to corner him outside the company. I repeatedly reassured him that his secret was safe with me, and I'm not disgusted or repulsive about his actions.

For me, he's still the Mark I knew a few years ago. Maybe he had that kind of unexpected side but once again, who I am to judge him just because I saw him having sex with another man?

Mark was furiously crying so I ushered him away from the busy road. We reached the dirty alleyway behind the skyscrapers parallel to our workplace where I comforted him for the next couple of minutes or so.

Making him look into my eyes was the hardest part. He kept on blaming himself for being rash and impulsive, that nobody was supposed to be there and out of all the people who could catch him red-handed, it was me alone.

 _'I never wanted to see you guys, either! It so happened that I was using the staircase and my bladder was already full so I decided to stop by and pee. I promise, nothing happened after that incident.'_ I explained once more.

_'A-Aren't you angry and repulsive...? God, I-I shouldn't have done it! I-I couldn't help it---'_

Before he could even break down, I hugged him tight and never let go of his trembling frame. He sobbed against my chest, staining my clothes but I couldn't care less.

He was frightened of the fact that our friendship might end up in just a blink of an eye. Obviously, I was thinking of the otherwise.

 _'Why are you crying so much, huh?'_ I mumbled while wiping his tears away. Mark looked at me, his expression was still heartbreaking as he continued to sniffle. He felt so _tiny_ and vulnerable in my arms.

_'If you're thinking that I'll shove you away just because you're having sex with another man, then you're wrong.'_

But then, I experienced the unavoidable. I felt rage seething within me, not because of Mark, but because of the fact that Johnny might be _using_ him for his personal gain.

_'I admit, I don't like that guy, and if he ever treated you like trash or some sort of personal slut just to satisfy his goddamn dry spell, then I ain't letting him---'_

Mark covered my mouth before I could even finish my sentence. With wide eyes and quivering lips, he disclosed something I actually expected to hear but I was still surprised upon hearing it, _'Hyung. I'm in love with him. I love Johnny-hyung.'_

So my suspicions were right. My best friend was head over heels for that nincompoop.

Crap. First, Yuta. Now, my best friend!

 _'I know, Markie. I, know.'_ I grimaced while patting his head. Mark wiggled and pulled away from the hug, his eyes dilating even more, _'W-What? But how...?'_

 _'Well... Judging the way you look into his eyes and how your mood drastically changes every time you're with him, I didn't need to be a clairvoyant to read your body language.'_ I explained. Mark could only drop his jaw as a response, still adamant about the aftermath of the situation. Once again, I gave him a big hug until I made sure that his apprehension had finally disappeared.

After coaxing him for a couple more times that everything's going to be alright between the two of us, we went back to our company. It's nice to share stories with a friend, and even though this may sound dramatic and queasy, I felt like after that confrontation, we became _closer._

I was just thankful that the fog was finally cleared out... Or so I thought.

Upon entering the elevator, Mark suddenly remembered something important, _'H-Hyung... I forgot to tell you the reason why we're... Y-You know. Doing that thing on that abandoned floor.'_

_'You mean the sex--- Ouch!'_

_'Hyung! Y-You're making me feel embarrassed...'_

_'Don't worry, Markie. I prefer to be ignorant about your escapades with him.'_ I chuckled while squeezing his cheeks. Mark shook his head and looked up to me once more, _'No... It's for the sake of my defense. You see... Johnny-hyung and I were extremely busy for the past few weeks. It's been a while since we had the spare time for ourselves, and it so happened that we both missed each other's company.'_

_'So you bent over for him while you guys were in that spooky room? Fair enough.'_

_'Jaehyun-hyung!'_

_'Okay, I'll shut up now. Sorry, my bad.'_

The next statement he uttered left me mystified.

 _'As I was saying, lately he has been hanging around with that pretty Japanese guy from your department. He told me that he was helping out that guy to make someone feel jealous of them. To cut the long story short, your colleague has a massive crush on an individual Johnny-hyung chose not to disclose to me.'_ Mark huffed, his cheeks puffing like a chipmunk, _'I wonder who's that guy Yuta-ssi has a crush on? I just hope that their mission would end sooner so I could hang out with Johnny-hyung again...'_

Sounds familiar, right? My initial thought upon hearing that revelation was that, _'WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING SHIT?!'_

Oops. Sorry for cursing too much.

But seriously... I'm aware that Yuta has feelings for me but the mere fact that he was doing that unnecessary flirting with Johnny Suh on purpose just to rile me and make me suffer was beyond my expectations.

So all those cowardice I manifested and the shameful encounters I shared with him became in vain. Once again, Johnny made me _loathe_ him more.

Grrr! That prick! I fucking hate him!

.

.

.

Does this mean that Yuta isn't really angry with me? The answer was present in the latter part of this entry, though ;)

Anyway, fate must be mocking straight into my face because when I returned to my desk, my boss told us that we'll be extending the work hours in order to finish all of our tasks before the weekend comes. Overtime is such an ass and I'm willing to submit to it if it weren't for the fact that YUTA WAS ALSO WITH ME DURING THE WHOLE PERIOD.

That's right. Yuta and I stayed up late for the sake of our supervisor's approval. Being the obedient workers we were, we extended up to four hours we didn't realize that it was already dark outside.

Despite the multitudinous workload, my mind never slipped away from the conversation I had with Mark. The environment was awkward and silent as if we're levitating in outer space without any luck in finding any life forms. Seriously, the only time Yuta and I talked was when he asked me something about the report he was typing!

Ten in the evening came so we had no choice but to pack up. I was feeling panicky and distressed--- I badly wanted to corner Yuta and confront him about the whole _'Make-Jaehyun-Jealous'_ thingy. If that's true, then I'm very flattered, considering that I also want him. N-Not want _want_ him, but the physical aspect of want, if you know what I mean?

 _'Yuta, we need to talk.'_ I finally dropped the bomb while we were busy fixing our respective things. Yuta became frozen in his position but he remained impassive. He never faced me and kept on shoving his belongings inside his bag.

_'Hey, I'm not yet done talking!'_

I called him once more but he remained stubborn before leaving our office without a word. Leaving no choice, I chased him down the hallway until I managed to cage him inside the elevator. He even attempted to shut the contraption but I was quick enough to block the door with my hands.

He looked puzzled and angry so I advanced towards him until his back hit the mirror behind him. The elevator was recently fixed but somehow, it was working rather slowly. I threw daggers into his face, forcing him to look directly into my eyes, _'Yuta. Listen to me.'_ I mumbled once more, my hands firmly pressed on both sides of his head.

Yuta remained stalwart, his eyebrows furrowing but I didn't miss the blush creeping on his face. Smirking in victory, I gently grabbed his hands and gave him the most sincere expression I could ever display. And yes, I'm not faking my emotions, _'Hey. I badly need to talk to you.'_

The elevator reached the third floor, meaning I was running out of time. Gulping hard, I sighed and leaned closer to him until our faces were only an inch apart, ' _Is it true that you're flirting with Johnny just to punish me? Not because you moved on from me?'_

_'How did you---'_

_'Mark mentioned something about it.'_ I revealed. Yuta scrunched his nose in vexation and grimaced, _'Shit. That little gremlin!'_ He winced, making me laugh, _'He wasn't supposed to tell you about that!'_

Out of luck, the elevator stopped at our destination and Yuta stormed out and run away from me. I quickly got to my feet and chased him around the deserted parking lot which was odd. Yuta didn't own any car so I reckoned that I managed to drag him on the wrong floor.

However, I'm still faster than him (not that I'm ridiculing his speed and height, my bad). I effortlessly snatched his arm and dragged him towards my car before slamming him (or pushing him, it wasn't that violent, I swear!) against the vehicle.

 _'What the fuck is your problem?!'_ He literally screamed straight to my face. His voice echoed around the parking lot but I remained calm.

Now, this was the time I realized that I needed to stop acting like an asshole. Yuta looked so pissed and tired with his twitching eyes and frowning expression. Without giving him the slightest warning, I leaned closer and crashed our lips together.

Things became a blur because I found myself reveling the heat rapidly creeping in my system. His lips were soft and a bit dry, but the feeling was _painfully_ familiar. Yuta tried to protest but I pressed our fronts together and wrapped my arms around his waist--- His _sexy_ waist to be exact, before pressing my mouth harder against his.

I felt like I've quenched my never-ending thirst. Nakamoto Yuta was in my fucking _arms_ and I was kissing him.

The next thing I knew, he was succumbing to my dominance and was responding to my kiss. We savored the moment, and I even had the audacity to invade his mouth by clashing our tongues together. It's only the second time I've made-out with another man (both because of him, of course!) but the feeling was ethereal.

I was reluctant to pull away. In fact, I never wanted to break the kiss. But then, I remembered that I needed to find some answers first before I would celebrate. By the time our mouths had parted, Yuta's lips were swollen and red, some of his drool slipping away and present on the corners of his mouth which I found sexy.

He averted his gaze but I gently cupped his face. Shit. He was so beautiful, dammit! Heck, the word beautiful was unjustifiable to describe him.

Yuta was _gorgeous,_ that's it. I can easily declare that he's even more attractive compared to those girls I've hooked up with.

 _'So... Am I correct?'_ I mumbled after a few minutes of silence, still looking at him with hopeful eyes. Yuta heaved a heavy sigh and crossed his arms against his chest, _'... If I say yes, then what are you going to do about it?'_

Upon hearing his words, I automatically grinned. I pulled his frame closer and rested our foreheads together, _'Yuta, look, I'm so sorry about what happened weeks ago. My actions were questionable and I shouldn't have acted hostile and cold. Unlike you, I'm really bad at expressing myself, and flirting is the only thing I'm good at.'_

 _'It's okay.'_ He mumbled although his arms were already wrapping around my neck. He then slightly smiled, his eyes twinkling for a bit they made my heart melt, _'You're straight and I freaked you out. What am I thinking, by the way? That you'll like me back even though I practically annoyed you every day---'_ Before he could even finish his sentence, I silenced him by pressing our mouths for the second time. I ran my hands across his back, double-checking if the moment I'm experiencing was the reality or a mere product of my phantasms.

But the latter was wrong. Yuta was _really_ in my arms.

 _'Yuta, I'm sexually attracted to you.'_ I confessed, _'Since that day, I couldn't stop dreaming about you. I've never been with a man before and this feeling is all new to me.'_ I kissed him again, because why not? His lips were _addicting_ like morphine, and just like how rowdy and wild my thoughts were, we made-out once more until we were panting heavily.

 _'Well, I really like you too, Jaehyun.'_ Yuta whispered while nibbling my ears as I sucked his neck. I could feel his boner pressing against mine because I was also hard and he kept on rocking his goddamn hips. He kissed my neck and looked up to me, his eyes half-lidded and dark, _'So you dreamed about me, huh? What kind of dream then?'_

 _'I dunno...'_ I mumbled, this time my hands were cupping his ass. He released a dirty moan, making my cock twitch against my pants. Shit. That was embarrassing but sexy at the same time. I rubbed my nose against his, pecked the corners of lips, and entangled his legs with mine, _'I think you already know what I mean.'_

 _'Is that so?'_ He pretended to think. He dropped his arms, a malicious smirk forming on his face before slightly pushing me, _'Then why don't you let me turn those dreams into reality?'_

The next thing that happened to us had left me on cloud nine even up to this date.

Right after dropping those suggestive words, Yuta knelt on the ground, making me surprised. He ran his fingers on my hips before starting to unbuckle my belt.

Instantly, my feet became glued on the cement. After blinking a few times, I quickly scanned the room and saw nothing but the lights flickering ahead of our position. I was about to speak when I felt something warm on my crotch, and when I looked down, my mind became blank upon seeing Yuta nuzzling his face against the bulge poking on my slacks.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

_'Can I?'_

How could I even resist his honey-slicked words? Blinded by lust, I absentmindedly nodded in approval before urging him to pull my pants down. At that point, I didn't care anymore that we're in the parking lot. My brain was flashing nothing but the mental image of Yuta and his pretty lips wrapped around my cock.

I never thought that my wet dreams were about to become true.

By the time my boxers and pants had sagged down, my legs were already feeling cold as Yuta curiously fisted my dick. He looked at me once more, his eyelashes fluttering as if he was too lazy to even fake his innocence, _'Jae, am I starting to make your dreams come true?'_

 _'Yes. Yes, you do.'_ I growled before cupping his face. Yuta gave me another simper before kissing my member and putting it inside his mouth in one go. Immediately, blood crept towards my groin, making me feel light-headed. He sunk my cock deeper into his mouth until his lips reached the base and gnawed the entire shaft. I released another curse and started to slowly move my hips.

I ran my fingers through his soft locks as he continued to bob his head. His mouth was fucking hot and tight, but who am I to complain? Yuta was giving me a blowjob which was super unexpected. He willingly submitted himself to me and I couldn't be prouder. He remained exposed on the ground, kneeling in front of me as he did me good. He held my waist and increased his pace but I never heard him gagging.

What really triggered the beast within me was the way he looked at me while doing his sinful ordeal. Biting my lips hard, I grabbed his nape and started to thrust my hips harder. Yuta had the audacity to moan while devouring my cock, sending jolts of electricity throughout my crotch. As an answer to his unspoken challenge, I returned the unnerving gaze and kept on gyrating my hips, synchronizing with his ministrations.

He started to claw my thighs while I continued to fuck his mouth, this time he was choking but I didn't stop my movements.

Usually, I can hold back my orgasm for a while but blame his pretty face for making me come without giving me the chance to warn him! Yuta kept on grazing his teeth against my cock, and by the time my body convulsed in pure bliss, I was already filling his mouth with my seeds. Yuta never pulled out, though. He milked me--- He _freaking_ milked me and gulped all of my come in one go.

 _'Was that good, Mr. Jung?'_ Yuta retorted after popping out my dick. He wiped his lips with the back of his hands and shakily stood up but he stumbled for a bit, _'Whops. My bad, my legs feel wobbly. Someone pressed himself too hard on me.'_ He teased as he panted heavily before slumping onto my frame, _'Mhhmm... That was good.'_

 _'Err... Y-Yes.'_ I was still dumbfounded and speechless. Yuta kept on nuzzling his face on the croon of my neck as if he was ignoring the fact that my dick was still exposed and fully erected even after receiving a good blow.

 _'O-Oh! Let me help you with that!'_ Thankfully, he must've sensed my embarrassment. He knelt once more and hoisted my boxers and pants before buckling my belt back, _'There. Nice and clean, no trace of evidence left, especially that I've cleaned it by myself.'_ He winked.

_'Yuta... Did you just---'_

_'--- Give you a blowjob? Yes.'_

_'But why?'_

_'... Because I want to?'_

_'Oh...'_

_'Didn't you like it?'_

_'That's the problem, Yuta... I liked it.'_

_'Then that's great.'_ He smiled before giving me a chaste kiss on my lips. He then patted my cheek and started to walk away but before he could even disappear, I called his attention, _'Yuta, wait!'_

_'Yes?'_

_'I-I'll be taking a break next week.'_ I rambled, and I honestly didn't know what I was saying during that time. Yuta turned around and faced me once more, _'Really?'_

_'Uh... Yes. A short vacation, to be exact.'_

_'Where are you going then?'_

_'I-I dunno...'_ I shrugged, _'I'll probably stay in my house. Maybe stroll around the neighborhood and exercise a bit. Y-You know, cut some slack off for myself.'_

 _'That's nice.'_ Yuta responded before halting his words. His face lit up, and the next words he uttered made me feel giddy on the inside.

_'Can I visit you then?'_

_'Y-Yes. Yes, you can.'_

_'I'll see you on Monday, then. I'll inform the Human Resources that I'll be taking an off too.'_ And with that, Yuta disappeared from my sight, leaving me perplexed and in a state of euphoria.

When I tugged my pants and rummaged for my keys inside my pocket, I saw a piece of paper tucked inside my wallet. There's a note that was written there:

_We've been working together but I don't have your number yet._

_Here, call me when you got home and please, send me your address._

**_\- Yuta_ **

Don't ask me how on earth he managed to slip that note inside my pocket. And yes, this is the best day I've had since forever. Now, all I have to do is wait for Monday to come, and let's see what would happen to us ;)

Or maybe... I could invite him tomorrow since it's already the weekend! Yep, that sounds brilliant, Jung Jaehyun! What can I say, I'm a fucking genius!

I can't believe that these things are happening now.

  * _**Jaehyun**_




	7. Entry #7 (July 18, 2020)

**July 18, 2020 (Saturday)**

I'm not fond of literature, and I'm definitely _not_ a nerd. But today I discovered something quite interesting which I definitely didn't expect.

You wouldn't normally hear me blattering about this stuff but... Does anyone know about soliloquies and whatnots? Well, if you're asking me a few entries ago, then my answer is simply a big, fat _**no**_.

Since we're talking about literature, then time to dig deeper into my vocab clutter once more. Just kidding, I'm still sane and in the right state of mind. Unleashing my inner poetic self would leave everyone speechless, if you know what I mean? (insert wink emojis here 'cause why not?)

Okay... That sounds lame and I made myself look like a fool. Once again, my opening sentences are always abysmal every time I write another entry!

The hell, I'm just going to finish this before Yuta wakes up. And yes, he's with _me_ right now, sleeping like a log (truth to be told, more like a Japanese royalty because he's just that ethereal) in the guest room. Like what I declared in my last entry, I invited him yesterday out of impulse, and guess what? He didn't even hesitate to say yes ;)

It's just a bummer though. Nothing much exciting happened to us earlier... Okay, there's _one_ thing but other than that? Not much.

Obviously, I was really looking forward to meeting with him. Not the kind of _giddy-teenager-lovesick_ vibes, but more of _excited-to-death-'cause-I'm-gonna-get-laid_ kind of vibes (seriously, I'm a different person when I'm talking to myself so excuse me for being so sappy and cringy). I've been hopelessly dreaming about him which I've mentioned a bunch of times like a broken record player, and even though things escalated way too fast between the two of us after our kiss and make-up (again, sounds weird but I think this summarizes pretty much everything that happened in the parking lot, right?), the thrill never left my mind.

In fact, it just became even _bigger._

It's kind of crazy to think about my obnoxious desires but I _badly_ wanted him. In fact, I didn't have a proper sleep last night upon receiving his approval, too excited for seeing him again. When he arrived in the afternoon dressed in a loose hoodie and fitted jeans that greatly highlighted his ass, the steam in my head had finally blown off.

Remind me how to keep my cool once more. My god, he's _smoking_ and _poppin'_ hot--- And that's a very high compliment coming from a straight dude.

S-t-r-a-i-g-h-t d-u-d-e. You hear that? Just reminding everyone.

Anyway, the plan about flirting with him was redirected in a different direction (well, a _part_ of it) because we talked for a couple of hours or so while watching random shows on the television.

Sounds typical? Yes. How about on a regular Jung Jaehyun hook-up? _Nope._

Remember a few pages ago how I hated him before the whole drunken mistake happened? It turned out that half of it was still true. Sure, he's still sarcastic and very snarky, but while we're having our conversation, I noticed how easy to talk with him, especially about his hobbies. Yuta told me that he's a fan of literature, specifically poetry and live speech. He mentioned a lot of things that I've never heard in my entire life like stuff about sonnets, odes, and soliloquies. He used to do a lot of plays when he was in high school before he mysteriously flew out of his country and got his boring job in our company.

Usually, deep conversations bore me a lot but I couldn't stop gawking at his pretty face. He looked so cute while he was discussing how allegory works, or how he hates self-entitled writers who couldn't even do proper rhythmic patterns. Those things didn't even mean to me but look at me now, I gained another knowledge even though I knew that it will hardly benefit me.

Weird? Duh, hell yes!

I never had chitchats with my hook-ups before. I'm not the kind of guy who beats around the bush and waits for the food to get cold. I'd rather jump into action than waste my precious time. This may sound pretty icky but... I was impatient and I was barely controlling my self not to grab his hips and place him on my lap before ravishing his lips and taste what kind of lipgloss he used.

Hearing his normal voice without his usual bitchy and sarcastic tone was quite pleasant and had a nice ring to my ears. Despite the temporary stroll at dreamland, I was bothered by the fact that we acted like two individuals on a date conversing and knowing more about ourselves, and I didn't even realize it until he decided to call the night, mumbling something about sticking up to his daily routine of not ruining his beauty sleep.

In other words, I found our first hang-out pretty _date-y, o_ r too comfy and looked like a real date.

That sends chills down to my spine. I. Am. Not. Used. To. It. Okay?

Anyway, even though I was acting like a child throwing a tantrum (internally, I tend to whine sometimes but it's a golden rule _not_ to act like a brat when you're with a hot girl, or in this case, a pretty guy), I got a nice compensation for behaving well. While we're rewatching an episode of Lucifer on Netflix as we shared another glass of wine, I managed to sneak my arm around his waist. We had some teasing and a little bit of bantering until instead of discussing how sickeningly good Lucifer was with his problem-solving skills, we were lazily making-out on the couch.

Can I just say this again? His lips are goddamn soft and addicting. Not to mention, the taste of wine on his tongue just made my libido skyrocket until it reached the sun.

I'm not exaggerating. I expected that kind of response from my body.

We didn't do anything much other than humping our fronts together as I squeezed his ass--- And take note, _all_ at once without breaking the kiss. I deserve a pat on my shoulders for keeping my pants on even though deep inside I badly wanted to repeat the same scenario we did yesterday. Yuta was grinning from ear to ear when we break the kiss, and I couldn't help but return the smile.

He was just mesmerizing. And cute. And sexy. And a freaking treat.

Shit... I sound so in love right now.

Nope. Not gonna happen.

The rest of the night, we ate dinner and had another long conversation, but this time it's about our misunderstandings. He told me that he had a crush on me ever since he got his job in our department. Of course, knowing my big fat brain, my ego just got bigger upon hearing that. Hah! Shame on you, Johnny Suh!

Wait, I forgot that they're just _fake_ flirting, and Mark and Johnny had this _little_ thing going on between them. Never mind, as long as no one dares to flirt with my guy, then I'm cool.

... I'm not being possessive, am I?

Damn it, I need some validation, and yes, it doesn't bother me anymore that I'm calling Yuta my _guy._

Okay, it still bothers me a bit!

  * _**Jaehyun**_



_**P.S - I can't believe that Yuta and I spent the time together. He even slept here, It's a huge step, right? ;)** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, Jae. You're not the only one who's in denial. ;)
> 
> ... Or maybe he's the only one.


End file.
